fackell@livejournal

i was right to worry la.. ): sorry i never around to take care of u one then u become like that ): i hope he knows to take care of you.....

haha.. on a lighter note.







BLOOEY! >< blooey's dying aktl..

i can't help who i am. even if i can change, well, i don't live for you. guess i gna "硬着头皮，厚着脸皮", face up t it this time.. and many times down the road. mm?

blogging is a waste of time. seriously.. cause when you have a million other things you 'should be doing', i don't see why you should spend precious minutes on nonsensical adolescent ramblings which serve no real purpose.

you see, some people don't really care. they don't care if its your way of connecting with them in hope of strengthening bonds between you guys. they don't give a damn if you wanna be in your own cozy tightknit community, they don't want in. somehow you know that even though this is entirely nobody's fault, you can't help feeling a little sad.

we never really connected, we didn't connect then we aren't connecting now and maybe we never will. years fly by.

anyway since i'm sounding a bit emo here might as well mention the little talk me and jia had about the old blogs we had. for me, ruination, officiallydamned, honeyd(smthiforgot), bluub, tblublack, and the one or two combined blogs.. all gone. and for jia, glowworm, jiaaster and virtualhug.. none of which she has lost.

i'm feeling a little guilty here. what makes people want to erase their past, but then look back and regret later? impulse? well some people don't rly regret, but i do. i'm trying hard to recall how it's been.. the two years i've gone through, what little remnants i have from those times are random yellowed lightsticks and a couple of neoprints.. little autographed pictures, little presents. i would never throw those away, but the memories they can contain for me are still only so much.

i've had a hard time holding on, so i let go. had a hard time letting go too, but i dunnit and now i'm having a hard time turning back. having come full circle, maybe its all about having a hard time afterall.. so why not just hold on?

the talk was nothing much, but at least it helped me decide not to delete this blog. lesson, girl, a lesson.



we wonder, a lot, about how things'll be like a few mths frm now.

i'm back (: