I've forgotten the last time you've encouraged me. Was it when i was in primary 6? 5? 4? or even longer ago? I'm your own daughter, yet you live everyday as if your life mission was to find fault with me and point them out. You discourage me in whatever i want to do, and if i so much as bring anything up you are quick to list all the disadvantages of even trying. Your close-mindedness disgusts me. You tell me all the time to reflect on myself, but do YOU reflect on yourself? I admit that you are a good parent in many ways, but nobody is perfect. Just because you think you are so good, you never see the need to look upon your own words or doings. You think you are a very good parent just because you let me play when i want to. Yet almost everything i want to try something new or different that might indefinitely benefit me, you are all against it. And you think this is GOOD for me? At least other parents know how to evaluate what is good and what isn't for their child. Your mindset is horribly behind: you think freedom is about letting me hang out with my friends only. You think bad is exposing me to anything that i have not experienced before? Is that good parenting?

"You can't do it. You are too ____" You know what? It's because you THINK i can't? In the end, my abilities are limited to what you think of me. And i end up nothing much because why? You think nothing much of me. Your own daughter.

And you say that you are sooo good because you hardly refuse me when i say i wanna go out. You know why? Because i don't give you a lot of chances to refuse! I try my best not to ask to go out when i don't see any particular need to. I'm not the kind of daughter who goes out all the time just for "shopping or chilling out". When i go for stuff like student journalist sessions, YOU SAY I GO OUT AND PLAY ALSO. YOU COUNT IN ALL THE TIMES THAT I AM NOT AT HOME OR IN SCHOOL STUDYING AS TIMES THAT I GO OUT AND "PLAY". IS THAT FAIR? Do i not take part in stuff because i want to learn or gain new experiences? Just because its not academic you disdain it? JUST BECAUSE ITS ART-RELATED RIGHT. I KNOW YOUVE ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING AGAINST MY INTERESTS? WHY CAN'T YOU ENCOURAGE MY PASSION LIKE DAD DOES? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES? All i ask is just a little.. support.

The moment i got into the car, you snapped at me. Then after that when i tried to tell you something about the school, then you passed negative judgements about me. Then when i tried to disprove you, you went on and on about how i was rude? Doesn't that sound familliar? All you want me to be is a passive listener with a hand over the mouth. What you want is for me to listen to everything you say, believe it, accept it and act on it. But why can't you do the same for what i say? I can tell what is right from wrong amongst what you say, but do you even bother evaluating my words? And why must you judge me all the time? Why must you keep comparing me with you or other people, and come to the conclusion that i am always below everybody in terms of character and everything else? And you know what? Most of the time i display this negative behaviour only in your presence. You say its me. But have you reflected on what you always do to make me react this way? You say that i'm sensitive. But you have realised that its constant accusations from you that made me become defensive and argumentative in everything you have to say?

I know you care about me. But this is all wrong.

I read that again to myself and i said, wow, coherence....