"soulmates are hard to find."

i turned my head away from my father as he went on to one of those "friendship talks" again, not only because the topic disgusted me, but because tears were rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably again. i made no move to wipe them away, so as not to let my father know i was crying. rows and rows of streetlamps emanated rays of light that ran across my face, zipping past us. it was almost 10 pm.

it was a rare sight, though. i guess it's not very often that one's father takes her friendship problems into his own hands and attempt to talk to her about it-- not once, but repeatedly. of course, Mum would never sit around doing nothing either; she likes to pop the most insensitive questions about the issue at the weirdest times, and insist i answer her, leaving me no choice but to leave the room exasperatedly.

so you know, there is a reason i choose not to reveal anything. i want them to realise that i do not want to talk about it not because i am the heartless coldblooded person that they feel i am, but because mere thought on the issue brings about reaction that i do not wish for anybody to see. i do not want to tell them what's going on not because i want to hide anything, but because i myself am unsure as to what's really happening. i do not want to continue and drag on this painful relationship not because i don't care anymore, but because it's hurting me.

this is insane. everytime i thought i've put most of it behind me and got on with my happy life, either my parents or herself come along and smack my head with a cold salmon screaming I WON'T LET YOU FORGET IT SO EASILY NO I WONT.

and you know what? it bloody hurts.. cold salmon is no child's play ok. i wish they would just stay away from me. let me be. let bygones be bygones. please let me off. please let me go. i'll go on my knees. please let me off...