ok it was fucking pissing. blogger i meant. bloody hell. bloody hell. i mean, ive known there are problems, but i was so happy typing the last word i just pressed publish immediately. they better fix it man. its, bloodly, pissing.

SFGJARStl;wru.

i was saying that i had the best day in ages yesterday, and that food at marce was fucking ex, and i had a tremendous time ydae learning to skate and that jiangning was a marvellous teacher. and i wanna get more chances to pract, cus i cant balance well yet. and im in love with roller skating.

..sigh, i just dont have the bloody mood anymore la.... its kind of like, pouring ur full hearts contents out to someone, tears and all. then the person suddenly plucked off the ear phones and said "huh, you said sth?"

and it was considerably LONG kan.

whatever. i feel betrayed.

hai, im damn tired. kept jacking myself at tuition today. and i realised the whole world is warped around maple story. dammit i can;t stand it. so the game has its attractiveness, but for goodness's sake, EVERYONE. its not jsut cause im not playing it... even if a comic or band i love, and everyone starts going "omg it ROCKS" and everybody just starts loving the same thing... i would get super irritated and never touch that comic or listen to that band again la.... cause its something along the line of "can't someone remain abit of individuality?"

but i guess since this is a game, its meant for the masses.. so... hai. i have to resign to fate. today in class i was the only person who wasnt a maple player. yes, cause even the teacher plays it. -laughs- what is the world coming to..

anyway, i do express my pleasure at the popularity fanfiction seems to have among people of my kind than i thought it did. liying, chaoying and ..kexin right? im gna pounce on 'em someday and pester fer Links. mwahahahhahahahah.. HP too! -beams-

i know i sound like im contradicting, one moment preaching bout overwhelming popularity of this game, the next moment rejoicing over increasing number of people reading HP fic. but do note that, with all of us put together, its only 5 out of 35 alright? its not even much.. lol.

Anyway syehyin writes naruto fic.. i think its kinda cool cus she has always been crazy over naruto, and i wonder if theres alot of naruto fic out there. hehe. i told her truthfully i like gay fic. ..ok i said i wrote gay fic. which nobody's supposed to know yet cus its still in progress.. i just started it. but since its exam period i better lay off it.
thinking bt it.. its not really... gay. i ship only H/D. only. i get turned off by any other pairings like harry/snape or remus/sirius.. whatever. i only ship HD. hahah.. i dont really care what others say out there. point, though, is that no one ever says anything.

that might explain the different kind of emotion i felt when syehyin reacted immediately with something related to an EEEWW and Thats Disgusting (do you know them? lol nvm me) .. yeh, its nth i didnt expect. she thot it was Harry Herm at first and agreed whn i said it was sweet. thts when things strted to look suspicious. so i cleared it out w/ her.

haha... i do admit there was this teeny.. weeny part of me that was displeased and wanted to find ways to transform her into a HD shipper. but thats minority, really. i was smiling to myself all the way, partly amused by her reaction... cause.. in school me and paul read yaoi comics all the time, but no one ever says anything.. applying to those who know what its about. it feels kinda weird that everybody lays off the topic, especially when its the top thing on your interest list right now. people aint able to voice their thoughts freely about this kind of things, i dont really mind also and simply immerse myself in the comics.

but after today, when syehyin's reaction struck me as a relief, i realised how ive never received such comments before. true, it might seem discriminating when others say sth like that... but you guys are friends and as long as you dont go insulting her that shes a freak, or try to cleanse her thinkings, i think she wouldnt mind. well i wouldnt. it would have been interesting to hear what you think, but i would hold my stand and my passion wont waver. friends dont need to reserve such comments to themselves..

and i know i can always count on syehyin to be straight. she always has been.. to anyone anyway. hahah. straight as in.. straightforward.. you know.. =P

anyway i was still smiling to myself after we parted ways. and i wanna explain the relief part....
it felt good not to be hiding within you your obvious love for sth... its something like if i was lesbian. i dont want to be constantly hiding it from my friends.. i want to just, let them know, and i will be able to deal with their reactions, affirmative or not. cause i know it wont change things between us, and i would assure i have no interest in them, or sth. haha...

theres no need to tell each other everything.. but just as long as its something not the social norm and your friend doesnt know about it, it feels like ur hiding someth. it makes u all uneasy. i think i told syehyin cus she does fanfic too, and we're close enough. i woudnt bet so much on letting huiming know though. see... theres this fear.. of how others would react to you and what kind of things they might say after they found out....

i think ive been ranting and im not sure whether it got my point across, but if it didnt then i sure am useless.. lol. i damn tired. gna do sth bt that blood RS now.

anyway, shipping H/D is not really That bad. XD