the feeling is surreal..

like when you dont even know what you're feeling. what is happening to you. whether your even feeling sth, or your just groping around empty air.. can't grasp what is that your heart is telling you.. or is it telling you nothing..

yet the need to know is so real. strong enough to make you suffer.. not void of emotions, yet the emotion seems to hover above your head, low enough for you to feel its presence, high enough for you never to grab it. i dont want to know if you're real.. i need to know if im real.. i want to feel something -- at least something that will hit me, not tease me from a distance. i need a confirmation. from anyone. even a psychologist maybe, to tell me whats up. its so confusing. regardless hate, love, loathing or numb even... just dont leave me in between not knowing where to go. never been so unsure of myself. and nobody knows what im talking about either.. hahahaha... ..thats the best part.